Fun you say — IV GREY BLOG

Ever felt like you were in this never ending game called parenting. You assume because you are the oldest, biggest and strongest player, you'd win. Yet its seems your the one always left crying in the corner. "Have kids," they said. "It'll be fun," they said. Fun, fun, oh fun, yall lied to me. Why did yall lie to me? I'm tired, my head hurts, my emotions have gotten on the biggest ride at Six Flags amusement park. They yield from left, then up, right and then left and down. Who knew you could be emotionally drained. I didn't even know that was a thing until I became a mother. You pop out these beautiful little human creatures, then boom they transform into scary little monsters when their desires aren't met on demand. Fun you say?

fun

enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted. Pleasure.

Today my daughter cried for a legit 20 minutes. She cried the entire car ride home from daycare. As each shriek became louder and louder I slowly drifted off to an island of solitude in my mind. I was quickly pushed back to reality as she continued to cry. I wasn't prepared for pick up today. Usually I have snacks awaiting the kids when I pick them up from school, but today I had no time to stop because I was pushed for time being that I got off late. There was an unopened pop tart left in the car from this morning so I thought I was safe, but Nope. My son decided to devour the entire pop tart leaving a piece so small I could barely recognize it for what it was. Of course my little girl Grey was immediately sadden after eating the small bite, Oh and might I add there wasn't anything to drink either. Her little soft voice demanded “cup cup.” No juice, no snacks and about a 20 minute ride left, I'm sure you can imagine what happened next. Sounds of sadness turned shrieks of anger immediately filled my car. I just wanted it to stop. 20 whole minutes of endless sobs. "They" didn't include examples like this when explaining motherhood to me. My son who was to blame for the madness just slept through the noise. Most times I am able to tune out the cries, but today I just couldn't it drove me crazy!! I couldn't wait to get home and remove this little person from my presence for just a moment.

Then there's Gerald. My 6 year old, pop tart devouring son. (Lol) He has been testing my patience with his smart mouth lately. He's learned the art of talking back. Yup! You heard me right! Not the out right disrespectful talking back, but the smart mouth, sarcasm filled talking back. Honestly I don't think he believes he's doing anything wrong. I tell him constantly to stop talking back but, he looks at me all confused like I just spoke Mandarin to him. Is this the fun “they” spoke of. And this is only today's shenanigans. I feel like I'm always repeating myself and for no purpose at all because he still doesn't listen to me. This is where I insert the emoji with the lady holding her hand on her head. I truly believe that emoji was created for us moms. Because it is how I feel at same point every day.

Every day is a new journey. A new roller coaster filled with emotion. Days filled with thoughts of inadequacy. "Am I a good mom?" "Did I handle that correctly?" " Make it stop!" Doesn't sound like fun to me. But then something shifts. Like a magical unicorn appears and you're stunned with amazement. My kids fill me with hugs, kisses and whispers of I love you. And it melts my heart. In those moments I realize what all the hype was about. This is mommin. The fun part. The tears, the headaches, the sleep deprivation is all erased when your kids surround you with all the love their little hearts can hold. It is in these moments that I am reminded that I must be doing something right. As moms we overthink, we worry, we doubt we drive ourselves completely insane. We allow ourselves to be taunted by little human beings who in a blink of an eye change our whole existence and fill us with the love of no other. Moms you are not alone. At one point I thought only my kids were capable of making me run and hide to cry, but then my friends call me to vent and I am reminded that I am doing just fine. You are too mom. Be encouraged! Keep going! You are an awesomely amazing mom!! Although it is not always fun, do like Drake. Live in the moments you'll never forget.